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Here are the Top 10 Ways To Be More Spontaneous, from the desk of Dr. Nefertiti Nowell.

If you are like many other individuals currently living what society would deem a “typical” life, you may be familiar with the sudden, sometimes completely random realization that you are acting out the exact same day today that you did yesterday (and the day before). This epiphany is often followed by a period of existential crisis that leaves you questioning whether or not you are making the most out of your life.

First of all, calm down and take a couple of deep breaths. Understand that we all fall into some form of routine that includes sleeping, waking and eating. You are not leading the dullest life of any human that has ever existed. However, having a healthy amount of spontaneity in life is a necessary ingredient required to keep things exciting.

In this article, we are going to briefly discuss ten ways to be more spontaneous as well as some important things to keep in mind while you do so.

Number one: Trust Your Feelings:

Being a logical, rational person is by no means a character flaw. There is a point, however, in which being too analytical has its drawbacks. If you consistently say no and avoid things despite your initial reaction being willingness and excitement, it may be time to listen to your gut. There is something to be said for that impulsive instinct you feel when deciding whether or not to go for something. It is perfectly okay to let your gut overrule your logical side here and there.

Number two: Say What You Need To Say:

If you can readily recall situations in which you felt compelled to speak up and say something yet failed to do so, a little boost in spontaneity could do you some good. Whether the situation is a business meeting, a rude comment someone makes to you or introducing yourself to the person you’ve been crushing on for what feels like forever, being spontaneous and bold enough to speak can save you the dreaded pain of regret.

Should you impulsively blurt out every thought that comes to mind? Absolutely not. However, saying what you need to say when you know it would be to your advantage is the right move more often than not.

Number 3: Get Feedback From Those Who Know You Best:

If you are wondering if you actually lack spontaneity or just being overly critical of yourself, simply asking the people you spend the most time around can yield an honest answer. Given that a characteristic feature of a routine involves doing things without giving them much thought, sometimes it can be hard to notice when you are being too predictable. By asking for feedback on just how anti-spontaneous you truly are, you can identify patterns only seen by other people and make changes accordingly.

Number 4: Stay Curious & Open:

As children, we all have a natural tendency to be curious and open to exploring the world around us. Most people tend to lose some if not all of this curiosity as they grow older and find their niche in life. In order to be spontaneous, it is important that you possess the curiosity and open mind required to venture out of your comfort zone and experience new things. If not, you will nonchalantly stay put in your everyday routine and miss out on all of the excitement available out there.

Number 5: Stop Filling Your Free Time With Junk:

Arguably the best time to enjoy a little spontaneity is the free time you have available outside of mandatory obligations, such as work. If you are like a lot of people, this time is usually spent on dull, non-stimulating things such as watching TV or scrolling through your phone.

Needless to say, these types of activities are not going to result in you becoming more spontaneous. When you have time to spend how you choose, break out of the norm and go do something new.

Number 6. There Is No Perfect Timing:

Not to harp on the super logical, passive individuals once again, but oftentimes spontaneity fades into nothing while you wait on the perfect time to act. What’s more, if you are guilty of this, you usually don’t even have a specific criteria for what that perfect timing even looks like.

Not that there isn’t anything to be said for timing, but life rarely works in absolutes and perfect timing is all but nonexistent. If there is something you want to do, do it. Waiting on perfect timing is usually going to result in nothing but that, waiting.

Ready for number 7? Awareness Of Chronic Routines.

Although we have already touched on the idea of how falling into a set routine can limit how spontaneous of a life you live as well as the importance of asking others if you are chronically predictable or not, being self-aware of your routine is also useful. If you feel you lack spontaneity, simply analyzing your day to day activities for the last week, month or year can identify repeating patterns that you may be unaware of while you are living them.

Number 8: Don’t Force It:

Okay, so this one is more about how NOT to be spontaneous but is still important to note. As with any other change you make in your life, going out of your way to be excessively spontaneous is not the right idea.

Not only will this come across as phony to others, but it also defeats the purpose of spontaneity in the first place. Starting a new activity or going on a random weekend getaway that you planned at the last minute is great, selling all of your earthly possessions and deciding to hike Everest on a wild hair, not so much.

Number 9: Be Mindful Of The Context:

Another thing you need to consider when wanting to add spontaneity to your life is the context in which you add it. When it comes to real life application, there are just some areas of your life in which being spontaneous is probably not the best idea.

For example, your job probably involves specific tasks or activities that you are expected to complete a certain way and at certain times. Deciding to spontaneously do something different on a random Tuesday may not work out well as it relates to your employment status. Having sound awareness of when more spontaneity is a good thing, is a good thing.

And lastly, Speak To Familiar, Unfamiliar Faces:

The last item on our list relates to something that almost all of us do on a daily basis. Think about the places you spend a lot of time at such as the gym, grocery store or public transport. Chances are, there are certain people that you have come into contact with a hundred times, maybe even exchanged a friendly nod with and never spoken to.

A simple and possibly enlightening way to be more spontaneous is to actually engage these familiar faces in conversation. You never know the knowledge, relationship or useful connection you might obtain by doing so.

Who are your real friends?

A recent survey has determined you might not have a lot of close relationships in your life. In fact, the number of people who claim to have more than three solid friendships in their lives is only 37% or one-third of the population. Even more discouraging is the idea that fully 27% of adults say they have no close relationships at all.

Making friends as an adult is a daunting idea. For one thing, we’re swamped. We get caught up on our personal responsibilities and business goals that frequently we don’t make time for a social life outside of loose connections with our children’s friends’ parents and professional networking. Who has the time?

Thankfully, you do. It actually takes less time than you think to discover the joy of adult friendships. You can start with these simple tips:

Before looking for new relationships, start with the Old.
Why reinvent the wheel? Instead, ask yourself who your friends used to be. Is it possible you can rekindle some old friendships? In this era of social media, tracking down your best friend from high school is easier than ever. Why not shoot someone a quick message or text to open up the conversation all over again?

The next tip for building a relationship is to become a listener.
When in groups of new people, rather than working hard to be the life of the party, why not take a step back? Making a point to actively listen to people makes you more attractive to those around you (everyone loves a listener) and puts you in the position of discovering the things which intrigue you most about the others. It’s a simple way to learn about shared interests, so you can strike up a friendship.

Next up is to take things to the next Level
Have acquaintances but aren’t quite ready to call them friends yet? Try opening up a little. Being vulnerable forges intimacy with others and deepens the friendship, taking it to the next level.

Forth tip is to really stay in touch.
Worried about how to hang onto the friends you have? If you want to keep people from falling off the radar and becoming distant, make a point to check in with them once in a while. Send a text, make a call, set up a chance to get together. By checking in, you’re telling the other person they’re important to you and worth your time. A general rule of thumb? Connect about every two weeks.

Last tip for you it to make a group.
Even better? Start putting your friends together in one place by creating a group of friends. There’s nothing more fun than hanging out in a gathering of people who enjoy each other’s company. Start simple, with a lunch date or drinks after work.

Get started today.

Here are the top 10 tips to boost your self-esteem, from the desk of Dr. Nefertiti Nowell.

Self-esteem is about how we value ourselves. These feelings are created over our lifetime, mainly when we are children. However, you can improve your self-esteem at any stage in life through dedication and work.

People with good self-esteem typically feel good about themselves and about their life. This can improve mental health and build strong relationships. People who have low self-esteem, however, tend to be much more insecure and put themselves down more often.

This can make it harder to deal with challenges in life and can lead to them avoiding hard situations altogether. Low self-esteem negatively impacts mental health and can lead to things like anxiety and depression. Here are ten ways to help boost your self-esteem.

If you have low self-esteem, you likely have constant negative thoughts about yourself. In order to improve self-esteem, you should try to address the negative thoughts when they arise and try to challenge them.

You can do so by searching for evidence that contradicts them or by asking yourself questions like is this thought helping me change? Is it healthy to put myself down? And Where does this thought come from?

Challenging your negative thoughts can give you the time to realize there’s little to no truth to them. It’s bad for your mental health to continually put yourself down, so try to change negative thoughts to positive ones when they arise.
Another effective way to boost your self-esteem is by improving your physical health.
Physical health impacts mental health and the way we view ourselves. If you maintain good physical health, you can drastically improve your self-esteem. You can maintain good physical health by eating a healthy diet, working out, and visiting your doctors and dentist regularly.

Building upon the previous point, self-care can help you relax and feel good about yourself. Practicing self-care regularly can create a deeper love for yourself and help you value your physical health more. Developing healthy habits take time but can be very rewarding. The more you’re kind to yourself and take care of yourself, the better your self-esteem will get.

You can practice self-care by doing things like journaling, skincare, taking a bath, reading, doing something creative. Additionally, when boosting your self-esteem it is important to create positive relationships. Having people around you who truly care about you, encourage you, and uplift you can help you when you’re feeling low. You may recognize certain people who make you feel great, and you can have a good time with them without feeling less than or judged, while other people can make you feel terrible about yourself and make you second guess all your decisions.

Try to avoid people who bring you down and create good relationships with people who care about your wellbeing and make you feel good about yourself.

Another good way to improve your self-esteem is to challenge yourself more often. People that have low self-esteem tend to avoid challenges and confrontations. In order to improve your self-esteem, you have to face your fears and do things you normally wouldn’t. Try doing one thing every day that you find challenging. In the long run, you’ll improve your self-esteem and become much more resilient.

However, when boosting your self-esteem stop comparing yourself to others.
It can be a difficult habit to kick, but it’s essential you do. Stop comparing yourself to others; it’s terrible for your mental health and most definitely lowers self-esteem levels. It can be hard not to compare yourself to other people, especially with mainstream media constantly advertising what you’re “supposed to look like.”

Media and even people can place unrealistic standards on you that are impossible to reach. If you can identify the times, you compare yourself to other people, you can correct that behavior by reciting positive affirmations or mantras.

Building upon this idea, it is important to you recognize your accomplishments.
A lot of times, people with low self-esteem will say their accomplishments were due to luck or accident. You shouldn’t be hard on yourself when it comes to what you’ve accomplished in life. You should be able to recognize the effort you put in to get the results you did.  
Accomplishing anything takes certain talents and skills that you should be proud to have. Give yourself credit where credit is due. In order to boost your self-esteem, you have to recognize that you are able to accomplish anything, and there’s proof!

Additionally, it is important that you are assertive. If you have low self-esteem, it may be hard to stand up for yourself or say no when you need to. If you’re unable to stand up for yourself, you can be pressured into doing things you’re not comfortable with. Be more assertive when faced with things you’re not comfortable doing. Try to say no more often, even if it’s hard.

Having a list on hand of your positive traits can be a good way to remind yourself of the good things about yourself. It can be a great self-esteem boost, and over time, it will become second nature to remember them when you’re feeling low. Try making a list of five to ten positive traits and recite them to yourself daily.

Lastly, it can be rewarding to take breaks when you need them. Day-to-day life can be mentally draining and can take a huge toll on your self-esteem. Carve some time out of your day specifically to take mental breaks. You can do this by meditating, reading, or doing something creative. Anything that allows you to limit your focus to what you’re doing instead of everything going on inside your brain.

In conclusion, self-esteem is important to maintain good mental health. If you have low self-esteem, it can be hard to find the courage to stand up for yourself or do things that challenge you.

Boosting your self-esteem can lead to a happier, more positive life. In order to boost your self-esteem, try to do things that make you happy and step outside of your comfort zone more often. Small things like physical activity, going outside, and self-care can also help give you a daily boost. If you consistently do activities like this, you can build your self-esteem over time and have a better quality of life.

Here are the top 10 tips to get comfortable with change, from the desk of Dr. Nefertiti Nowell.

“It may be as complicated as picking a mutual fund or as routine as grabbing a new tube of toothpaste at the grocery store. Whatever the choice, if we feel too overwhelmed, we put off making a decision. And avoiding any decision is the ultimate form of sticking with the status quo.”

Life moves at a fast pace, and the pandemic has expedited how quickly things change. It is proof that the entire world can change overnight. And managing change can feel a lot like rafting on raging white waters.

Change is new, it's unpredictable, and with it comes a variety of obstacles. You might get through change by telling yourself that it's temporary. While this change might be temporary, there will always be another change around the corner. The only thing you can truly rely on is that change is inevitable.

Most importantly, you need to acknowledge change. It's easy to spend so much time fighting the inevitability of change that you lose your chance to deal with it properly. Denying change isn't going to get you anywhere and it's only going to make things more difficult.

Think back throughout your life, how many did things change? Probably many. Perhaps you forgot, or you don’t focus on these times, but they are real. It is also real that you survived. You made it through, and if you did so all the other times, you could do so again.

Take a different approach and decide today that you're going to change how you deal with change. It's okay that things are changing, I can find another way to do x, y, or z.

Next, it is important to recognize that change brings stress. A lot of people underestimate how powerful all change can be. Just because it's a positive change doesn't mean it's going to be easy and you won't feel stressed. A promotion is a positive change, but you might still feel nervous about moving up the company ladder.

Graduating from college is a positive change, but it's still nerve-wracking to enter the workforce with a degree. Even the best changes can come with some discomfort. Your body reacts to change because it feels your stress. You need to recognize that, but you also need to throw yourself into it.

An easy way to get comfortable with change is to maintain your schedule. The more change you face, the more challenging it is to maintain your regular schedule. Humans find comfort in routine and when that's upset, it can heighten the stress of the change you're going through. When you're dealing with change, maintaining your schedule as close to normal is a great way to ease your tension. It gives your brain a break because it's something you do out of habit.

Additionally, it is important to eat well. When stress rears its ugly head, a lot of us reach into the pantry for an emotional soother. It's rarely celery sticks and often high fat, sugar-heavy food. It will soothe you in the moment, but it can impact your sleep, which can fuel your stress. So, whether you're dealing with change or not, make a habit of eating well.

Building upon the previous point, it is also important to exercise. You don't need to hit the gym for an hour but making some time for light exercise is a great way to keep a handle on your stress. Whether it's a walk around the block or lifting weights in the garage, make time to move your body.

However, don’t think that you can do it all by yourself, rely on support. You might enter and exit this world alone, but nobody makes it through life on their own. When you're dealing with change, you need to rely on others for support. Turn to the people who know you best and love you most. They will more than likely be happy to give you a hand, whether it's listening to your woes over coffee or helping you with something else.

Another way to get comfortable with change is to focus on positives. Change can feel overwhelming, it might feel as though it's overtaking your entire life. When you find change looming large, take a moment to write down a) all of the positives in your life right now and b) all of the positives that will come from the change.

Building upon that, it is important to be proactive. When you take a proactive approach, it might be that you are determining which steps to take before changes come your way. You're flexible, you're adaptable, and you won't get trapped in a cycle of reactive behavior. For example, if you have a busy few months around the corner and you know it will get stressful, then having a check-up with your doctor is proactive. You want to make sure everything is in order before time gets away from you.

However, it is not always possible to only focus on the positive, sometime you need to be able to vent a little bit. There is nothing better than a support group and your support group should provide you with some room to vent. If that's all you do, then you might want to rethink the situation because you may have trapped yourself in a contagious circle of anger and frustration. That's not what you want.

What you want from a support group is positivity and advice that will help you move forward. But they can also serve as an ear for you to vent about things and then gear the conversation toward taking action.

Lastly, make sure to avoid social media.
Going through major changes often pushes you towards social media. You might do so to post about the changes and update people. Or you might do it trying to escape your stress. There's nothing wrong with celebrating major changes by sharing them with your friends on social media.

But you should always approach social media when you are in a relaxed state. If you approach it when you're stressed, then scrolling your newsfeed and seeing the highlights reel of everyone you know isn't going to make you feel better. Take a break.

In conclusion, as you are on your journey to get more comfortable with change, think of this quote. “Sometimes change is thrust upon you, even if you aren’t ready for it. It’s easy to be thrown off balance, but the sooner you step into the unknown, the sooner you will step into your potential.”

Here are the top 10 tips to gain self-control, from the desk of Dr. Nefertiti Nowell.

Having a strong sense of self-control is one of the biggest determining factors when it comes to long term success and the realization of the goals one sets for themself. Once we reach adulthood and are no longer subject to the authority of parents, teachers and other influential people, being able to hold ourselves accountable to do or not do certain things is our responsibility.

If you find yourself lacking self-control, consistently unable to stick with things or abstain from behaviors that you know to be detrimental, you are not alone. Fortunately, self-control is a behavior that can be learned, so long as a sufficient amount of effort and repetition is there.

In this article, we are going to briefly discuss ten tips that will allow you to promote more self-control in your life and break the cycle of poor decisions that you may currently be subject to.

Without question, the most important thing you can have when you are trying to add or remove something from your life is a strong sense of why you want to do so. Being able to clearly define this reason is critical, especially when your initial motivation and enthusiasm to change starts to wane. Without a clear sense of purpose, it is much easier to throw in the towel when the urge to fall back into negative behaviors creeps in.

However, when gaining self-control, it is important to avoid setting overly restrictive rules for yourself. This is an issue we see with many resolutions people set for themselves. It is natural to get overly ambitious when trying to make a positive change and this fiery motivation causes people to go all in from day one, outlining ridiculously strict parameters that are not actually feasible.

For example, many people who set fitness goals at the beginning of every year decide that they will immediately begin working out for hours a day, seven days a week and restrict their diets to a miniscule number of calories consisting of foods they don’t even like.

Two weeks later, most of these people have fallen off the wagon. Understand that the best routine is the one that you are going to stick to. Whatever changes you want to make in your life, making gradual and manageable modifications is the best way to go.

When it comes to both avoiding or adopting certain behaviors, an important step is to identify any triggers or variables that make it harder for you to do so. There are almost always specific weaknesses that make positive changes, an already difficult pursuit, all the more difficult. If you want to cut back on alcohol, don’t keep that 30 pack in the fridge at home. Want to stop avoiding the gym after work because you are exhausted? Have a change of clothes in your car ahead of time, preventing you from going home and passing out on the couch for the night.

If there is one common trait amongst virtually all humans, it is that we avoid being embarrassed in front of our peers at all costs. While this trait usually does not serve to benefit us, it can do just that when it comes to accountability.

If you want to promote more self-control pertaining to a habit or action you want to begin or quit, tell people your intentions. Tell several people, maybe even post about it on social media. You can be sure that slacking on your goal or giving up altogether will be quite a bit harder when you aren’t the only one who realizes it has happened.

Regardless of whether you are pursuing a difficult goal, striving to make a change for the better or any other worthwhile process, failure is going to be an unavoidable variable. In fact, failure is a necessary component for success due to the lessons it provides.

With that being said, you cannot throw your hands up and consider yourself done for every time you make a mistake. Whatever aspect of your life you desire to gain self-control in, understand that mistakes and setbacks are going to happen, all that matters is how you deal with them.

One of the great things about personal improvement, self-control included, is the advantage of compounding. Although your self-control begins as a very weak ability, each time you successfully exercise it and remain accountable in whatever situation, your ability to do so in the future grows stronger.

While using self-control is sure to be a difficult task that you have to remain fully conscious of at first, there is eventually a point reached where you fall into a habit of positive behavior and self-control is almost an automatic action.

Over time, you become the sum total of the people you surround yourself with. This cannot be stressed enough. If you want to improve your self-control, spending time with individuals who either lack this trait or have no interest in exerting it is never going to work.

This is true for anything you want to become better at, adopt as part of your lifestyle or a habit you want to kick. Surround yourself with people who either already have what you want or who are genuinely trying to succeed in the same way that you are.

While telling other people of your intentions can be an effective source of accountability, so can writing them down. By writing down your goals or intentions, in this case self-control, seeing the goal in your own handwriting provides an extra incentive to stick to your word. Want to take it one step further? Write your intentions down and then place them somewhere that you have to look at all the time, such as your bathroom mirror.

Realizing the need for change in your life is a must. However, subjecting yourself to constant self-criticism and shame for your past weaknesses or for the occasional slip up during your improvement process will ruin your confidence to actually be better. You must forgive yourself for doing whatever you are actively trying to improve, otherwise you’ll be fighting an uphill battle.

Lastly, accepting your past mistakes and being able to heal and recover from occasional setbacks during your pursuit of self-improvement, as we discussed above, is important. There is a caveat here in that you cannot be so lenient towards yourself that accountability is lost.

In conclusion, if you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over again and overlook them in the name of self-forgiveness, you will find yourself regressing back towards whatever it is you set out to change in the first place.

Here are the top 10 tips to develop a growth mindset, from the desk of Dr. Nefertiti Nowell.

When it comes to long term success, the mental makeup of an individual differs tremendously from those who are content and thrilled with the occasional, sporadic accomplishment. It does not take an overtly remarkable person to buckle down and put forth a lot of effort for a short burst of time to attain a specific goal. That’s simply the truth.

A common denominator that we often see in those individuals who seem to win at everything they do is a growth mindset. These types of people are able to look past quick, fleeting gains and have the foresight to make the decisions that are more beneficial in the long run. They do not compare themselves to other people as much as they do against themselves, holding themselves to a high standard.

If you want to enjoy lasting success, you must always be willing to grow. This can mean growing personally, professionally, financially, etc. In this article, we are going to briefly discuss ten tips that will allow you to develop a growth mindset.

The first step to developing a growth mindset to recognize the need for growth.
Before you can actually develop a mindset conducive to growth, there has to take place a realization that you need to grow. It can be easy to become complacent when you fall into a daily routine where you are comfortable and things seem to be just fine the way they are.

This is not to downplay the importance of comfort and stability, but if you have unrealized, long-term goals for yourself that you are not making any direct action to achieve, there is room for growth. If you have a pattern of negative behaviors, actions or a glaring character flaw of some sort, realizing that this is not okay and that growth is needed is a critical first step.

Second, a person with a growth mindset constantly seeks to learn.
Another necessary realization is that growth and learning are innately connected. Oftentimes, people have the notion that learning ends the moment they finish their formal education, reach adulthood or some other pivotal time period in life.

This is an unfortunate thought process, as it basically implies that the latter half of their life, if not longer, will not involve any higher degree of learning. If you are going to develop a growth mindset and become the best version of yourself, never stop learning.

However, the growth mindset is not a quick scheme. Rather, you need to learn how to play the long game. There are going to be plenty of times in your life where you are going to have to choose between what is better for right now or better long term. Usually, the former requires the least amount of effort and affords some immediate gratification at the expense of some future benefit.

The latter requires you to embrace some temporary discomfort and dedicate a significant amount of time and energy before you see any return. While it is true that life doesn’t often work in absolutes and there is something to be said for efficiency, more often than not, playing the long game and adopting the habit of delayed gratification is the best choice.

Building upon this idea, when developing a growth mindset it is important to become comfortable with failure.

It is safe to say that growth is closely related to improvement. Furthermore, to improve at anything almost always requires a process of attempt, failure, regrouping and trying again. This process is evident regarding anything we become proficient at, such as learning to walk, drive a car, etc.

While seeking growth is an incredibly important mindset, you are going to have to learn to deal with failure and not see it as evidence of your incompetence. Failure, when used properly, is the staircase to growth.

This leads to our next point, a person who is developing the growth mindset needs to shed the ego.

On a similar note as our last point, the human ego often gets in the way of growth. For the most part, people don’t love to do things they are not good at, as the likelihood of failing is high. This does not sit well with the ego, leading many to avoid trying anything new. If you are going to truly develop a growth mindset, you cannot let your ego get in the way.

The next step in developing the growth mindset is to understand the compound effect.
A funny thing about personal growth, whether we are talking about learning to do something new or obtaining new information, is that the more we learn, the more we realize we still don’t know. This is far from a negative phenomenon. While getting into the growth mindset can seem difficult at first, once you allow yourself to become open minded and curious, a compound effect begins which urges you to continuously seek new skills and information.

As the compound effect accumulates, you need to be able to objectively gauge your progress.
Whenever you are trying to accomplish a goal or make a significant life change, there must be some objective measures in place to track your progress. Setting a goal and blindly pushing towards it may work in the short term, but eventually this leads to misdirection and confusion. After deciding what you want to do, make sure to backtrack and outline clear and measurable checkpoints between where you are now and where you want to end up.

Another great way to develop the growth mindset is by spending time around successful people. As we discussed in the introduction, most genuinely successful people have a growth mindset. If you are trying to cultivate your own, spending time around these people is an effective tactic. While this can mean being in the literal presence of someone, it can also mean reading books they have authored, listening to their podcast, etc. Gaining insight into the thoughts and actions of those who have gone before you can greatly increase the efficiency of your own journey.

An important aspect of developing the growth mindset is understanding that growth doesn’t require misery.

One of the surest ways to derail your path to developing a growth mindset or really any worthwhile pursuit is to subject yourself to unnecessary misery along the way. Of course, some degree of discomfort and sacrifice will be necessary, but committing yourself to overly strict parameters from day one is not a good idea. In order to remain consistent and motivated, make gradual changes and adjust to these changes before moving forward.

Lastly, when developing the growth mindset you need to keep your priorities in order. Finally, keeping your priorities in the right order is crucial when attempting to make positive changes in your life, such as developing a growth mindset. It can be challenging to shake the deeply ingrained thought processes and habits that you have been operating under for any prolonged period of time.

With that being said, there will be a required shift in your priorities that must be made for a mindset shift to be successful. Once you are truly dedicated to making a positive change, make sure that your time, consistent actions and energy reflect this.

Here are the top 10 tips to never let others destroy you, from the desk of Dr. Nefertiti Nowell.

Everyone has to deal with toxic people in their lifetime. There's the manipulators who will do whatever it takes to get what they want. There's the narcissists who seek to control and don't care who gets hurt in their wake. Then there's the gossipers, compulsive liars, and self-pitiers. It's a dangerous cocktail of people to contend with.

But it isn't always toxic people who seek to destroy you. Sometimes, you're just collateral damage. Put like that, it makes life seem dramatic and dangerous. And, while it can be, sometimes others destroy you as casually as they fill their shopping list at the supermarket.

Thankfully, there are ways to contend with these types of people and steps you can take to ensure nobody has the power to destroy you. Remember, you are the only one who has the power to guard yourself.

First, make sure to control your emotions. Certain people will attempt to manipulate emotions and they do this to get what they want. It might not always be for overly nefarious reasons, they might simply seek to be the center of attention. But that can be extremely damaging to the people around them. Especially if you're one of those people.

The best way to deal with this type of situation and behavior is to learn how to control your emotions. What emotions do you feel? What is causing those emotions? If you get in touch with your feelings enough that you can answer these questions, then you will never whether you are truly in control or if someone else is interfering.

The quickest way to ensure your destruction is to give up control of your emotions and hand that power to someone else.

Second, focus on solutions. How do you respond when things go wrong? Destroyers seek to lay blame anywhere but at their own door. It's the fastest you will ever see these types of people move. You don't have to take unfair blame, but you can learn to own your mistakes.

More importantly, you can focus on solutions rather than focusing on problems. It's easy to blame everyone else, it's easy to hate things, and it's easier to seize on the negative. That's how others will destroy and undermine you. Instead, start searching for solutions and shut out everything else.

Next, it is very important that you are careful with who you trust. Gossip seems like harmless fun until the gossip is about you. How often do people approach you with gossip about others? How do you react? If that person freely discusses others with you, know that they feel just as comfortable discussing you with others. It might seem harmless, but would you want the person in question to know you were talking about them behind their back?

Would you say it to their face? Toxic people use gossip as currency and they will do whatever they can to stir up trouble and create a toxic environment. If you don't want to be destroyed by the rumor mill, be careful who you trust with important information and refuse to hear gossip when it's brought to you. It's bait, and you should ignore it.

This brings us to the next idea. It is important to surround yourself with loyalty. The idea behind this is an extension of the previous point. You don't want to spend time with people who undermine others, but you do want to spend time with loyal, trustworthy people. Just know this – you also need to be a loyal, trustworthy person. You have their back and they'll have yours.

Building upon this, make sure to avoid manipulators. Manipulators are callous with feelings and they will do anything to further their goals. While not everyone is aware that they are a manipulator, you need to be aware of who is trying to manipulate you. When you spot a manipulator, you need to run in the opposite direction. If possible, go no contact. If that's impossible, find a way to manage your interactions with them carefully.

Just as you need to learn to spot manipulators, you also need to learn to spot a liar. They will work hard to convince you and themselves that their narrative is the truth, but the bigger the web that's weaved, the more difficult lies are to keep track of. Learn to spot a liar and when you do spot a liar, avoid them like the plague.

Additionally, it is important to avoid petty drama. Toxic people love to air their dirty laundry for everyone to see and they will do whatever it takes to drag you into it. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into their feuds. Do not allow them to suck you into your drama. Before you know it, you'll be the target.

However, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t stand up for yourself. The best way to deal with the people who seek to destroy you is to stand up for yourself and what is right. This might mean that you need to stand up to any bully in any situation, even if you're not involved. If someone is harassing the barista, you can speak up on their behalf. Toxic people often pick on people they perceive as weak and when someone is willing to stand up to them, they are back down quickly. Make a point of standing up for yourself and to bullies in general and people aren't going to want to mess with you.

The best way to go about that is by demanding straight answers. The toxic people who set out to destroy others often offer non-committal answers. They will go to any lengths possible to wiggle out of taking responsibility for their behavior. Hold people to account and demand straight answers by asking closed questions.

Lastly, when you want to make sure recognize false kindness. Don't fall for people who offer you things they aren't in a position to provide. They're doing it because they want something from you and once, they get it, they'll split.

In conclusion, miserable people love to rope others into their misery and that's a great way to see yourself destroyed. Take care of yourself by being mindful of these types of people and the traps they bring.

Here are the top 10 tips to heal your spirit, from the desk of Dr. Nefertiti Nowell.

Healing your spirit can mean different things to different people, but it’s the act of giving your spirit relief at its core. This can mean energetically, emotionally, or psychologically. Relief can come in different forms for each type of healing needed.

In energetic healing, you may feel more relaxed, lighter, or energetic. Psychological healing can change your perspective and give you the realization you may have been searching for. Emotional healing may feel like a big release, almost like a dam broke, and you can finally feel what you’ve been repressing.

It’s crucial to remember healing your spirit isn’t a one-time fix; it’s a form of self-care similar to brushing your teeth or doing your laundry. It needs to be done. Spiritual healing can help most when you feel you’re stuck in harmful patterns or you have built up emotions you don’t know how to address. Let’s go over some of the best ways to continuously care for and heal your spirit.
First, it is important to identify what needs to be healed. This may seem simple or even unnecessary, but I assure you it is the opposite. The first thing to consider is whether your spirit is truly broken or wounded. When you think of spiritual healing, there’s no physical construct that can be broken; it’s something we feel inside.

Take time to deeply look inside yourself, not at what you think but at what your body feels. Do you constantly feel drained? Do you often cry for unknown reasons? Focus on what your body is trying to tell you.

We can push things aside and give false justifications as to why we act or feel the way we do, but our bodies aren’t. We physically feel the adverse effects of the spiritual wounds we have, whether we consciously recognize it or not.

The second thing that you need to do in order to continuously care for and heal your spirit is meditation. Daily meditation can help you release pent-up emotions or relax the body and give you a boost of energy. Meditation requires you to channel your focus and quiet your mind. You can try using guided meditation, visualization, or just following your breath. This helps eliminate a cluttered mind and produces a state of relaxation and tranquility.

Meditating when you need an emotional release can help calm you so you can process emotions without thinking about them. You are able to just sit and feel everything that’s been weighing on you. Having this release daily can help prevent emotions from being repressed and putting you in a constant state of stress, anger, or sadness.

It is also important to spend time in nature to care for and heal your spirit. Studies have shown spending time in nature reduces stress and helps regulate the nervous system. Our species has become more disconnected from the physical world by technology and the need to work for most of our lives, and this creates a negative impact on our mental and physical health.

Nature allows the spirit to feel free. It creates a sense of wonder and a deep connection to the world around you. Spending time in nature gives you a break from feeling the constant stress and heaviness day-to-day life causes. This sense of freedom allows you to connect with yourself deeply.

Writing or journaling is another way to practice mindfulness. Keeping a journal of what you feel or things you need to release for that day can help keep your mind clear and help you reflect back on past emotions to work through them. It can also give you an idea of what thoughts or feelings are more consistent. This can give you a clue as to what truly needs to be addressed.

Alone time can be beneficial to caring for and healing your spirit because there’s no need to keep anything bottled up inside. You can be who you truly are without fear of rejection or judgment. This can be great for healing your spirit because it gives you time to fully be yourself and express thoughts and feelings that you may not feel comfortable expressing to anyone but yourself.

Being alone can be hard for some, but it’s necessary to learn who we truly are. We are the only person that is there for us our entire lives. If you use your alone time to get to know yourself and what you desire and enjoy in life, you can heal your spirit from patterns that may have developed from past traumas.

When caring for your spirit, taking a bath or shower can be helpful when you do it with intention. You can set the atmosphere with candles or music and use shower sprays or dried herbs that help with relaxation. Doing a self-care task and putting effort and intention into it can do so much for your spirit. It boosts self-confidence and is a great opportunity to meditate.

Another way to care for your spirit is to explore your passions. Doing something you love can release energy in a productive way. Indulging in things you’re passionate about can give you an outlet for emotions or thoughts that feel like they’re stuck inside you. Constantly allowing yourself to do things you love can create new energy inside you that heals negative energy you’ve held onto.

A very effective way to take care of our spirit is through reflection. Mindful reflection is a good way to connect with ourselves and understand our emotions better. Reflecting on how you feel in the current moment and what’s happening around you can ground you and give you a chance to disconnect from the chaos inside your mind and just observe yourself and the world around you.

If you are looking to care for and heal your spirit, it is important to change the narrative. The way we tell the stories of our past traumas and experiences can change the way it affects us. How much we suffer from things in the past depends on how much power we give it. You can heal your spirit through love and kindness. Learn to work through negative experiences and let go of them, so they’re no longer a part of your spirit.

Lastly, when caring for and healing your spirit it is important to ask for help. There’s no shame in asking for support from people you trust. Having people to talk to is a valuable tool. If you feel you cannot work through things by yourself or you’re having a hard time with it, talking to someone who’s disconnected from the problem can give you a fresh perspective.

In conclusion, our spirit is an important part of you. It’s part of the core of who you are. Learning good techniques to use regularly is the best way to care for and heal your spirit. Whether you need to release emotions, connect with yourself on a deeper level, or work through past experiences, it just takes time and consistency.

When you think of the term “Inner peace,” there are several images that may come to mind. This term is often portrayed as a devout monk practicing meditation atop a mountain somewhere, the overly relaxed yoga practitioner you run into at your local smoothie place or some mystical term that sounds great but doesn’t really define a specific thing.

Stereotypes aside, inner peace is something that people from all walks of life should strive for. Regardless of if you are, in fact, a monk currently sitting cross-legged on a hill or just a typical night to fiver trying to keep from verbally assaulting your fellow man in a traffic jam, being able to keep your mind free from excess worry, stress and guilt is invaluable.

This is especially true given the world we currently find ourselves living in. We are constantly being bombarded with enormous amounts of information, usually negative and struggling to keep up with more and more to-do’s despite not a single second being added to an already crammed clock. This is simply the state of things.

However, boosting your inner peace doesn’t happen by waiting for the world around you to change. Rather, doing so requires you to modify your personal thoughts and actions. In this article, we will describe 10 tips that, if put into action, will promote a heightened sense of that ever so elusive “inner peace.”

The first step to boost your inner peace is to develop the mindset that you lack peace.
This is a point that simply had to make the top of our list. If you currently consider yourself to be devoid of any sense of inner peace, dwelling on these thoughts alone may be your biggest issue. You see, our minds have a strong tendency to default to emotions and thoughts that we repeat most often. In other words, if you constantly ruminate over the fact that you lack inner peace, this negative emotion is only going to gain traction.

Although it may be difficult at first, make an attempt to simply shift these recurring thoughts to those that tell yourself you do feel at peace. While your long held thoughts to the contrary will most likely put up quite the fight at first, the more you reaffirm the idea that you have a strong sense of inner peace, the greater the amount you will actually feel.

Second, when boosting your inner peace, avoid comparison.
To be very direct, if you constantly compare your life to the lives of other people that you see on social media, your workplace or any other space you frequent, your perception of your own life is probably going to be skewed in a harmful way.

The problem is that we now have the ability to show other people only the aspects of our lives that we want them to see. The posts, pictures and external appearance that most people portray is basically just the highlight reel of their lives. Nobody is going to show you the failures, embarrassments and low points. Since you don’t see these things, it can be easy to assume that other people aren’t experiencing the same negative things that you are.

Rest assured that they certainly are. You and everyone around you are constantly experiencing the natural highs and lows that we call life. Stop comparing yourself to the polished facade that those around you are presenting, you are not going to win that game.

The next step to boosting your inner peace is by actually being present.
Being present is a term that has been chronically overused at this point. While the idea is actually very beneficial, so many hashtags and motivational memes have adopted it that it has been pretty watered down.

However, if you simply take the term at its literal meaning, which is to focus only on the here and now instead of the past or present, good things start to happen. Being truly present allows your mind to experience and perceive the little things that each moment offers, noticeably increasing your sense of inner peace.

Another important aspect of boosting your inner peace is striving for something.
Lacking a sense of direction or purpose-driven actions can cause a considerable amount of mental turmoil. Daily life is challenging enough on its own, not having any reasoning or passion behind why you do the things you do make it even more so.

A great way to boost your inner peace is to set goals for yourself and then letting your daily actions include things that bring you closer to those goals. Having a sense of motivation and intent behind the hard work you are probably doing anyway makes life much more peaceful.

While this idea should not come as a surprise, your external environment, the aspects of it that you can control, have a direct impact on your internal environment. Think about your personal spaces that you occupy on a daily basis such as your home, office or vehicle. Do you put forth any effort into keeping these areas clean, organized and free of clutter?

If you feel like you lack inner peace, taking pride in the cleanliness and organization of your immediate surroundings can go a long way to alleviate some of this angst.

Another great way to boost your internal peace is by writing things down.
There is something extremely cathartic about jotting things down in your own handwriting. Whether it is your daily schedule, creative ideas or the worrying thoughts taking up space in your mind, transferring things to an outside medium can lessen your mental load.

Experiment with the habit of writing down any parts of your life that you find yourself dwelling on consistently. Moving these thoughts to a different location may be just the solution.

Additionally, when boosting your inner peace it is important that you understand life Is precious, but at the same time don’t take it too seriously.

We are not going to challenge the idea that your life is precious. After all, you are a unique and capable individual navigating your personal perspective on limited time. Your own certain feelings and emotions deserve acknowledgment.

With that being said, you cannot let every negative thing that happens to you have a disastrous effect on your inner peace. The minor setbacks and inconveniences that inevitably happen each day must not be allowed to carry unnecessary weight in your mind. Don’t take life too seriously.

A poor sense of inner peace often goes hand in hand with a low sense of self worth or the idea that your worth is determined by how much you succeed. When this is the case, there is a constant need to do more, do it better and work even harder.

To break this cycle and boost the amount of peace you feel, separate your worth from your productivity. Realize that you are worthy simply because you exist and that anything you achieve or all the success you experience is simply a byproduct of this inherent worth.

Whether you realize it or not, the way you treat other people greatly affects the way you feel about yourself. You cannot be unkind, dishonest or outright mean to those around you and expect a strong sense of internal peace.

Be good to people. There are so many reasons this is important, not the least of which is how peaceful you feel inside.

Lastly, harboring bitterness and resentment for extended periods of time is one of the biggest detriments to your inner peace. This effect is even more pronounced the longer you allow these feelings to fester mentally.

If you are currently maintaining an argument with someone or holding on to negative emotions regarding any subject, try your hardest to resolve these issues. Bitterness is a mental cancer that will quickly consume your peace.

Here are the top 10 tips to boost your self-respect, from the desk of Dr. Nefertiti Nowell.

Respecting ourselves is incredibly important. It can help us create healthy relationships by having an understanding of our boundaries and respecting ourselves enough to set them. Respect is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. By respecting yourself, you have an appreciation for your abilities and who you are.

Self-respect is often viewed as narcissism, but in fact, it’s the opposite. Respecting yourself allows you to feel proud of your imperfections and helps you forgive yourself for past mistakes. It makes it easier to maintain healthy relationships because you have higher expectations of how people should treat you. Self-respect can improve your life so take a look at these ten ways to improve yours.

In order to respect yourself, you need to set healthy boundaries with the people in your life. Boundaries are an excellent way to maintain your self-respect and create healthy, long-lasting relationships. It can be hard to say no, especially to a friend, but it’s important to make it known how you feel you deserve to be treated. Self-respect means understanding what you are and aren’t comfortable doing.

Next, remember that when boosting self-respect, you need to start by loving yourself. When you really love someone, tend to respect them and their boundaries. You should apply the same love and respect to yourself. Care for yourself and show yourself love to improve your self-respect. Every flaw and imperfection makes you who you are. Without them, you wouldn’t be the amazing person you are today.

Building upon this point, it is important that you define your values. Look inside yourself and find what you value most. Knowing your core values and sticking by them can give you a greater sense of self-respect. Try to prioritize your values daily and do things that help you maintain them. Don’t compromise your values for anyone because if they truly cared about you, they wouldn’t ask you to change who you are.

Taking this a step further, you need to know your worth. Don’t downplay your worth to yourself or anyone else. You are essential, and so is your time, so make sure to treat it that way. When you know your worth, you can make certain people treat you accordingly. You have strengths that are valuable skills, and people will try to take advantage of them. If you know your worth, you can set boundaries with people and expect a certain level of respect from them.

Another great way to boost your self-respect is by spending time outside. Spending time outside has a number of health benefits, and it can make you feel more connected to the world around you. Humans aren’t meant to be kept inside all day. We need sunlight to be physically and mentally healthy. Studies have shown that regularly spending time in nature can reduce your risk of depression.

Using your time outside to explore and let yourself be curious can help you get to know yourself better. Being more connected to the world around you and learning more about yourself can show you there's so much to love about yourself.
When building your self-respect, you have to realize that you can learn from your mistakes. The past is the past, and there’s nothing we can do but learn from it. Dwelling on past failures or mistakes is pointless and does nothing but make you feel bad about yourself. Something you can do with memories of the past is to learn from them. Mistakes will always be made; it’s impossible to perfect. Whether you learn from those mistakes or not is up to you.

Learning from your mistakes is a great way to build yourself up and become a wiser, more capable person. Use what you learn to improve your abilities and further improve your self-respect.
Another great way to boost your self-respect by pursuing your passions. There are things that give us temporary happiness and things that provide lifelong pleasure. Eating fast food or sweets may give you a temporary feeling of joy, but when it’s finished, what do you have? Less money and possibly a stomach ache. Instead of looking for small hits of dopamine in useless things, try to spend time on things you're truly passionate about.

If you use your time and money to put work into something you’re passionate about, you can feel more accomplished. Not only that, but you can create wonderful memories from pursuing your passions.

When boosting your self-respect, it is imperative that you surround yourself with positive people. Having a group of people around you that make you feel loved and understood is very beneficial to your mental health. Creating positive relationships with people is an excellent way to become more comfortable setting boundaries. It’s essential to have friends that uplift you and help you take care of yourself.

If you surround yourself with positive people, you’re more likely to do things that make you happy. Having negative people in your life can make you feel like you have to keep up a false image of yourself in order not to feel judged. Cutting out toxic people and maintaining strong, healthy relationships can boost your self-respect and keep you from compromising your core values.
When boosting your self-respect, make sure to express your feelings. You should let yourself express your feeling instead of pushing them aside or trying to hide them. To maintain self-respect, you have to let people know when they’ve hurt you. Speak up when people disrespect you, and it can establish an expected level of respect.

Lastly, an important aspect in boosting your self-respect is spending time alone. Spending time by yourself can give you time to find out who you are and what you value most. It can provide you with time to do things you’re passionate about or just unwind. You should be able to be alone without feeling uncomfortable. Take time every day to spend by yourself so you can do things that make you feel better or improve who you are.

In conclusion, it can be challenging to maintain a certain level of respect for yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, you can end up being taken advantage of or pushed around by people. It’s important to consistently do things to maintain a level of respect for yourself.

Things like taking care of yourself, expressing your feelings, and maintaining positive relationships can all benefit your self-respect. It’s essential to know your core values so you can live by your standards, and you’re less likely to compromise who you are.

Here are the top 10 tips to boost your ability to stand up for yourself, from the desk of Dr. Nefertiti Nowell.

You are faced with dozens of choices every day, and they come in all shapes and sizes. Your decisions can benefit you, or they can diminish you. When you stand up for yourself and you assert your ideas, your decisions will be more beneficial.

When you hesitate or stand down and don't communicate your ideas, your decisions can diminish you. Not standing up for yourself can really impact your self-esteem and make you feel weak. No one should ever be a doormat.

It is easier to avoid conflict and go with the flow. But is it truly easier when it means allowing others to treat you like a doormat? Letting everyone walk all over you will only fuel feelings of anxiety and stress. It will also negatively impact your self-worth. Take charge, believe in yourself, and start standing up for your best interests. Here's how.

First, and foremost, it is important to be transparent and authentic. When you choose to be transparent you learn to express yourself more honestly. When you get to this point, you will feel as though the burden from your shoulders has been lifted.

Don't get this confused with the brutal honesty movement where people go out of their way to be jerks. This is more about saying how you really feel, rather than nodding and smiling when you're uncomfortable or unhappy. It's going to take practice, but the more you do it, the easier it will become.

Next, if you struggle with assertiveness, then you can help yourself by taking small steps consistently. Put your shoulders back, hold your head up high and make a forward movement. Your confidence will grow with every step you take and you can channel that into each step you take thereafter. With each step you take focus on the feelings. How does it feel to stand tall, how does it feel to stand up for yourself? Let these feelings motivate you to keep going.

The more confident you grow in expressing yourself, the more people will try to challenge you. People want to test you, some are just built like that. So you have to learn how to deal with those types of people, which means to wait before you attack someone back for attacking you.

Remain calm if you are under attack but assert yourself. If you respond immediately, you will likely lose your temper and lose the high ground. Instead, take a moment before you respond. Do not cede ground, no matter how hard they try to browbeat you into submission.

Another important part in gaining the ability to stand up for yourself is to get to the root. In other words, you have to face up to things. You might think going with the flow is more comfortable, but it's creating anxiety and stress within you every time you miss an opportunity to stand up for yourself. Nobody can read your mind, you need to get to the root of why you feel the way you do and articulate that to others. It's the only way anything will ever change.

Just like you need to wait before you launch an attack, you also need some clarity. This is something that often comes up when there's a miscommunication in texts or emails. It's notoriously difficult to convey tone.

So, before you attack, be sure that you have the right end of the stick. Get that clarity before you form your response. Moreover, any type of response should be formulated once your emotions have had a moment to simmer. When you do formulate your response, you can be firm without being combative or using accusatory words.

When you start getting the hang of standing up for yourself, the best thing you can do is keep practicing! As with anything, the more you do it the more comfortable you will become, and the better you will be at it. Don't be afraid to speak up when someone is being rude. Stand up for yourself and stand up to others.

Building upon the previous point, make sure to act deliberately.
Have you ever been in a position where someone is doing something that bothers you, but rather than speaking up you have silently stewed? You reach a point where passive-aggression seems like a great idea. As tempting as it is, choose deliberate action instead. Approach the person and explain, without being accusatory, how you feel. Be upfront with your concerns and come armed with solutions.

Another important part of boosting your ability to stand up for yourself is learning how to guard your time.

You only have so much time, but you may feel under pressure to give that time away. For example, when someone wants a favor that you don't have the time or energy for, but you feel under pressure to do it for them anyway. You can't let the feeling of obligation dictate how you use your time. You are the person who controls your time and you have to know how and when to tactfully push back when it's appropriate.

Building on this idea, remember, that you hold the power.

You own your actions. You own your feelings. Your emotions, thoughts, ideas, and beliefs are all yours. Nobody can invalidate your feelings unless you let them. Nobody can tell you what to think unless you let them. That goes both ways, you shouldn't seek to invalidate others either. But you hold your own power so, don't give it away.

Lastly, when boosting your ability to stand up for yourself, it is important to view the other perspective.

When you stand up to someone, you might look inward. But there's power in seeing someone else's perspective. What is their motive, what do they desire, what needs are they trying to fill, what led them to this position?

Answer those questions and consider how that has colored your brushes with them. Remember, there is more than one side to every story, and you should consider all of them.

To sum everything up, remember that your voice matters! It is important to use your voice throughout your life because who will stand up for you, if not you? Don’t let people walk all over you. Don’t be a doormat. Be true to yourself in the most fundamental way possible!

In our current world, authenticity feels rare. Being your most authentic self can be complex, especially with all the influences of the internet. Learning to be your most genuine self is vital when building meaningful relationships with others. In order to be your most authentic self, your words and actions need to be in alignment with your core values.

Instead of putting on a mask and portraying who you think you should be rather than who you know you really are, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Being self-aware and accepting who you are can take you so much further in life than wearing a mask. Here are ten ways to help you take off your mask and be your most genuine self.
First, start by examining your belief system:
A lot of people grow up being taught what their beliefs and values should be by their family members. It can be good to examine your current beliefs and determine whether they are in alignment with who you really are or if they’re beliefs that you were forced to adopt early on in life.

If you behave in ways that feel out of alignment with your core values, it could be from periods in early life where you had to stop being your genuine self and put on a mask in order to please others.

Second, it is important to identify discrepancies:
Try to become more self-aware so you can identify discrepancies between the way you act and what you believe. When you become more aware of the things you say and do, you can think back on why you behave this way and whether you really believe what you say or if it was something taught to you that you never unlearned. If you figure out what you do that is out of alignment with your values, you can start to work on them and improve yourself.

Another important part to becoming your most genuine self is defining your core values.
Living your best life in the most authentic way you can, starts with knowing your values. Sometimes we are so disconnected from ourselves we don’t have any idea of what our true values are. To do this, you can make a list of what you value most. Some examples include: kindness, loyalty, optimism, knowledge, and integrity.
Once you have a list of 5 to 10 things you value most, try to find ways to incorporate them into your life.

Another important part of becoming your most genuine self is to face your fears.
Fear is one of the biggest reasons people don’t live authentically. Fear of rejection, judgment, and embarrassment are all reasons people tend not to be their most genuine selves. When exploring your values and trying to live more in alignment with them, it can be scary and off-putting, but it’s important to face those fears and push past them.
Additionally, when becoming your most genuine self, make sure to change habits that no longer serve you.

When you become more self-aware, and you observe yourself doing or saying something that doesn’t represent who you truly are, work on changing or letting go of these habits. It can help to write out the negative things and then throw them away. Almost like a ritual, but it can be uplifting and help on your path to becoming your genuine self.

Furthermore, when becoming your most genuine self, it is important to be assertive.
It can be hard to stand up for yourself, but it’s important you don’t let people force you into doing something that isn’t in alignment with your core values. We often get scared of confrontation, so we just let things happen instead of standing up for what we believe. If you find you’re constantly in situations where you feel like someone is forcing you to do something that doesn’t represent who you are, be assertive and say no.

Additionally, being able to identify internal motivators and External influences is an important step to becoming your most genuine self.
When you start to know what your true values are, you can start to identify internal motivators and external influences. Internal motivators are things that drive you from deep within yourself.

These are things that keep pushing you to be the best version of yourself. External influences are things that drive you to make decisions that aren’t aligned with your core beliefs. These are things like money, status, or expectations from the people around you.

Once you identify these motivators and influences, you can start to ask yourself questions like; Is this truly what I want? Am I being pressured to do this? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish this? And Will this bring me closer to my true self?

Asking yourself questions like these can provide clarity into your true motives and give you peace of mind in the decisions you make.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to listen to your gut. Following your intuition is essential in discovering who you really are. Try to keep an ear open for your inner guidance. Listen if it tells you you’re doing things unauthentically.

In addition, having a close circle of supportive people around you can make all the difference when trying to be your most genuine self. If you have people around you that try to push you to be a better person and support the changes you make in your life, it can take you further to your goal.

Having people around that try to pressure you into things you’re not comfortable with or make you feel you need to act a certain way isn’t good for bettering yourself. Try to keep people around that bring out the best in you.

Lastly, becoming your most genuine self won’t happen overnight. You have to have patience with yourself. Understand that things won’t go perfectly, and everyone makes mistakes. Treat yourself with love and kindness, so you are encouraged to push past the bad days and build yourself into a better person.

In conclusion, becoming your most genuine self is a long process full of struggle and error. Understand your true core values and beliefs and work towards living in harmony with them. Take steps every day to live more authentically and be the person you truly are instead of who you think you’re supposed to be.